Today I Can Write (The Saddest Lines)
Today I can write the saddest lines
write, for example, “the sun is shining for the first time in weeks but I hardly notice it”
the night revolves on the other side of the world, silent
today it’s only the saddest lines
I loved her, and she loved me too
through days like this one I would talk and sing to her
and kiss her head even though she didn’t understand why
she loved me, I loved her too
how could one not have loved her deep sardonic eyes
today I can write the saddest lines
to think that I do not have her to pet
to feel that I have lost her
to hear the cheerful day that goes on cheerfully without her
and my verse falls flat like the light at noon
what does it matter that time could not keep her
the sun is warm and she is not laying in it, not here, on this earth
this is all. In the distance
someone is laughing. In the distance.
My heart is not satisfied that it has lost her
My sight tries to look at photographs as though to bring her closer
my heart looks for her, and she is not in her usual spots
The same sun shining on the same patio
we, as of today, are not longer the same.
I still love her, that’s certain, and how I loved her
my voice tries to break the veil to touch her hearing
(does she answer back?)
One of a kind. She will always be one of a kind.
As she was before she met me. As she remains.
Her voice, her soft body. Her bright eyes
I can no longer hold her, that’s certain, but I love her.
Love is so short, eternity so long
Because through days like this one I lay with her in the sun