Journal
On the decision to not renew my membership here
Inspired by Martin French’s recent updatey article — lookie here at it below. . .
I decided to take a look at my own stats. Hmm.
Granted, I haven’t been writing this year — at all, to be honest. Again, as Martin remarked in his article, life has a way of derailing the artistic process, and this is especially true for me since I am unable to create from a place of too much discomfort. I know plenty of people who are perfectly capable of turning adversity into art, but I am not one of them: when adversity strikes, I careen headlong into a place of practicality. I focus on the moment and what I CAN achieve, rather than all the billions of things that are jeering at me beyond the (very short) reach of my control.
When the going gets rough, I clean the house and shop for groceries and make sure all the laundry’s done. I get meals ready efficiently and do my best to maintain the basic order of things in terms of bedtimes and school day comings and goings. I eat pretty much nothing but raw foods and forget about the bottle opener.
When things are easy breezy, I write and photograph and daydream and ignore all that practical stuff as much as possible. Also there’s wine and cake and other indulgent delicacies on the menu. This is when I get project ideas and find myself trying new techniques, rummaging in the art closet for supplies.
So I haven’t been writing, or photographing, since last year — but you could eat a meal off my bathroom floors right now! I’m surprised, frankly, to have the stats that you see above, small as they are. I was similarly surprised to see I made over $2 in my partner payment last month: a rich sum compared to the 15 cents or so from previous payments (lol why do they even send it?).
